Tuesday, 14 February 2012

A diary of my love for you .....

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies”
Aristotle

So I was writing a love story, when I realised all we hear about love these days are these love stories that end with a happy ending! I guess that is what we all love to hear, but I don’t like falling for the clichés, hence why I decided to write something different! Perhaps a very familiar perspective, but where it is your decision to make up the rest of the story in your minds! A one direction love is not something that belongs to the films, because it gives the writer the difficulty of picturing what is going on in mind of the individual, and perhaps makes it ever more difficult to give it a happy ending. If there is such a work or if they ever make such a thing, it must become a master piece! I don’t want any of you to think that I don’t believe in love with happy endings(yet there is no such a thing as an ending to any story, it’s usually our minds that would like to put an ending to a good story, to keep it in our minds that way and always be happy about it). I guess the other post of mine “Leili and Madman” made it clear that I still believe such love can happen, something that after ages, people still talk about, a story written by a great writer or a film made by a great film maker can stay in our minds forever, and sometimes act as rays of hope in a dark tunnel called life.
I don’t know if we should call it a game of chances or destiny, but I know many people who never found love! With the theories that we have made for ourselves, how can this be possible?! Are these theories made by our imagination, or optimism?! Is it the hope that keeps us going?!
Because i would not understand a person who would ever say they don’t need love! As once I read somewhere that “A man who says, he does not trust love anymore, love loses its trust in him”. So what is that little factor that stops us from finding it?! IF there is love, then what is it, except LOVE! Does anyone have a true understanding of it?! Is it stupid of us to fall for the theory of existence off love? Or is it a reality that we don’t know much about?!
I don’t want to diss the amazing work of scientists, but all these money spent for finding out where we come from and where we go, why there are so little information about love?! Love being the reason why we live and it being the path between the existence and the ending line!
I will let you all to think about these things in your own time, considering I don’t have a clear vision about love myself! It is a lot of questions that my answer to them changes as I grow every second. I however decided to write something about the third parties! The ones whose thoughts are unheard! This could not come out as any other way rather than a page of a diary or a person who does not wear his/her heart on his/her sleeve! I will not overcomplicate the writing; I very much like to keep it as simple as diary is written in....

“Love is the irresistible desire to be desired irresistibly”
Robert Frost

“How would I go any further like this? I have realised that sometimes keeping a secret is the best way of saving some things, only because you know if the truth comes out, you will lose that minimum that you have settled for...a friendship, the companionship of him, the little sensation you get when he smiles at you...That little simple secret that keeps this deem light burning, yet burns you from inside so hard that one day you are unable to breath and then it’s over! Or is it EVER over?!
All those moments you are looking for all those possible millions of reasons why this is not right, why you should stop the way you are feeling...then every single reason turns into a smile on your face reminding you of all those reasons why you DO feel this way... .
When you are so convinced that this is wrong and it will never work out, but yet you keep going on and on, not letting the light to turn off! Darkness means being lost and I don’t want to be lost! Without this, without love, I am lost! Many people come and go, many days come and go, yet this is the only shining light, and I have decided to keep it this way... every day hopping for a miracle! But i know miracles don’t happen that often! Miracles belong to the stories and I am stock in the reality... the reality that is darker than when I close my eyes and dream...! Love is blind, because in all that darkness all you see is the beauty, and the ugly is lost.... I have found my killing happiness in darkness, and this shimmering light is nothing but pain, a joyful pain that I accept to keep inside forever... what they can’t take away from me is what I grow in my mind....my dreams are mine, where I can control!!!! Reality is only that crazy driver who doesn’t know where he is going... it could only end in an accident. My world, my love is made of these twisted strands of reality and dreams, and I can’t change anything...”
“Falling in love is not at all the most stupid thing that people do—but gravitation cannot be held responsible for it.” Albert Einstein

Love and Peace
Rona Sinni

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Nostalgia.....

The past is prophetic in that it asserts loudly that wars are poor chisels for carving out peaceful tomorrows.
Martin Luther King, Jr.


This is written for my Iranian friends especially, yet you are welcome to read. The only thing is that Iranians probably feel more connected to this note. I just felt rather nostalgic and thought its a good idea to write about all that I miss about the past.
I believe that past should never be forgotten; I remember this book that we had in the bookshelves in our house called: past is the light for the future (This is a translation and I don’t remember the name of the writer, I shall ask and inform you in the near future). Well I could not agree more. Perhaps sometimes remembering the good times from the past can make us feel a bit out of the place, maybe because it feels like something that feel we belonged to, and it is not there anymore, like when we lose someone close to heart. A place that was always there and the very next moment is not anymore, like when lights go off and the darkness becomes your new nest and what can be more scary!!! But past was what made you become who you are today and this very moment is the past that will make your future; only keeping this in mind can assure a better future, a future so virgin... . Every now and then is good to sit and remember all those little things that happened. I personally think I am getting Alzheimer’s to be honest. Sometimes I look back and I can’t picture the streets that i grew up in. The houses that I visited and the people that I loved! But this past belongs to me, and it’s what makes me smile sometimes, like the stupid things that i have done and the things I have said or heard, people who i have loved and the people who I disliked for asinine reasons. So let me remind me and perhaps some of you about what we have missed...! I guess even if you have not experienced the same things, if you read this, you can remember your own past and things you used to do...! Just remember LIFE IS WONDERFUL, and i literally mean full of wonders!!!!
The best way is to start this with : I remember... and let your thoughts flow... your passion for that little mean yet very cute thing that you have...the past. I don’t remember if it was a maths programme or a philosophical one, but this guy was talking about the ripples you make in the water when you are in a boat and moving forward...how shallow they seem and how they deep they are...but also how short term... your past makes you move forward but it has no direct effect on it...!
I remember the day we moved into our new house when i was rather young, perhaps just less than 5 years old...the little Lego puzzles bought for me from the child and teenagers institute. Playing with them in a chaotic house filled with unpacked boxes, while my mother was sleeping on a coach, waiting for my ad returning from his work and my beloved sister from school, how young my mind was and how much i adored those colourful Legos. I remember I used to love to go to my grandparent’s house to play with them with my cousin who was alot older than me. She was a truly inspiring person, every moment that i spent with her i learnt a new thing and most importantly learnt  to be creative. Waiting in the waiting room of a dentist showing me a almond in shell and trying to make think of things that it was similar to, and my young mind trying to figure out what was going on in her mind... she has her own wonderful daughter now and i can imagine her being a lucky one, having such a great mother. All those books and games that my parents bought me to learn more and learn more and learn more to come to where i am.
I remember playing with dolls with my sister, but our favourite game was drawing people ona pieve of paper and talk instead of them pretending we are in a party with a lot of people. Sounds so silly, but at the time i couldn’t wait for her to come home and play this game with me! My two friends who i found going to primary school, Yalda and Sadaf! Two beautiful sisters whom i spent most of my time with. We used to play in the house pretending to be what we wanted to be...life was so easy then. I always wanted to be the architect and Yalda always wanted to be everything, and sadaf was always the teacher! Ahhh, good days gone by like the wind...! I remember playing in the streets, drawing on the floor with pieces of chalk, every morning in the school, or after school on the roads! So much fun!
Every Friday morning, having a family meeting in my parents bed, laughing and laughing, playing games! Thn the fresh breakfast that my dad have had prepared for us. Ah, i still can smell the bread. And then the rest of the day spent at my grandparents house with every single member of the family....more than 20 of us, just enjoying life like it could do no harm ever....! the amazing food that the grandparents prepared and then all sitting around the sofreh and eating it.
The school days and the homework’s that i would not stop doing and then having lunch! I was a geek from the start i guess!
My cousin Padideh used to come around a lot when my dad was away on missions and she always had something for us! Snacks or present! And i was jealous of my sisters presents every single time!
Every night my mum was singing to us, or when we were older, my sister reading to me before bed. When we stayed at my grandma’s house for nights, my dad used to do it, all the kids sleeping on the floor in the living room, and my dad telling us stories about this guy who ate so much that he bursted! It is still funny when i remember. Or my grandma telling us stories to make us not to be scared of the dark anymore.( I shall remember to tell you these stories, they are actually scary but fun).
The huge pencils that my ad used to buy us, they had spirals on them, so when you spin them, it looked magical! The cartoons and the films from those days...! What can i say..AMAZING...specially the Japanese anime called footballers, me my sister and my second cousin Sadaf, were in love with it. no wonder i love football now. I remember the last son in law of the family had the duty of cleaning the table, while everybody in the kitchen was doing the washing up, i still feel sorry for Pirooz and Amir, they had the longest period of duty, because not many people got married after them for a while.
I changed so many schools, and in every one of them i had such amazing friends. Trustworthy or not, still friends...!
The cheeky sneaks after school to hang around and have some fun! We all know what i mean if we brought up in Iran, so not much explanation required there.
Climbing the bed in my grandma house to reach her sitting at her table to kiss and say hello, or the the afternoons after school I bought snacks for me and grandpa to eat and watch cartoons together(our favourite was Ariosto Cats)
The language classes that we were made to go to for hours on Fridays, and the alloche and fun gums that we bought. The times my dad came back from mission and bought us all my mum have had forbidden us to buy!
All those wonderful times, that are so many that if I want to keep going, will make a book, made me and my life! All those memories...!
Remember those memories of yours, both good and bad moment and worship them! life may be short but every moment is a sequence on the little shiny skirt it is wearing that gives a glow and makes it even more beautiful when looking at it from far!
Remember, as my aunt Padide always tells me: “you don’t have to live the length of life, you only have to live its width at the longest to enjoy it”
LOVE YOU ALL PEOPLE.... KEEP SMILING!

Study the past, if you would divine the future.
Confucius


Love & Peace
Rona Sinni


listening to:

Thursday, 2 February 2012

The Ashes of War....

"I am not only a pacifist but a militant pacifist. I am willing to fight for peace. Nothing will end war unless the people themselves refuse to go to war."
Albert Einstein



So I thought today I will write a little about war, but I don’t quite want to talk about why they start it, and it must be replaced by peace and who starts it etc, as people usually write or talk about it. but I would like to talk about how I think a “war at peace” is still an ongoing war. No matter how many peace treaties are signed, or how many times they say that it is over, but this is so untrue! The fact that we still celebrate the day war was over in our countries, and instead of celebrating it the creation of peace, we celebrate the win, well I guess that explains it all. There are several things that I need to talk about. Such as a book that I am currently reading which made me write this, and a film that I have seen recently plus things that I have heard around!
I guess I shall start from somewhere, but just now I remembered this sentence I read a while back from Mother Teresa; “they have had asked her, why she does not join the anti war protests, her answer was, if you were protesting for peace, she would join, but not for anti war protests.” I mean, we just have to think one second about what she meant. Yet I am quite sure as per we all may have different views on what she meant! (So feel free to leave comments about what you think she thought, I would love to know.”
The book that I am reading now is called: “ A soldiers legacy” written by henirich boll, the nobel prize winner. Indeed it is an amazing book. It set in 1943, and it is about this soldier starts writing to the brother of his dead friend in war, and this person who killed him, who actually is close neighbours of the dead man. Indeed, the war happened in 1943, but the story shapes in the future of the war and what it has done! Both while and after, the writer beautifully displays the depressed and gray areas of the remains of the war, or in cases the dark sides left. It is a beautifully pictured story using words as almost every great writer does it.
My father has been in war for 8 years of his life getting injured and fighting, and the outcome was “OH WE WON”! I mean, I most certainly appreciate the fact that they have defended the country, but it still hurts me to think about why it starts. But as I said, I don’t want to talk about that! So here we are, at this moment! Just imagine your country, and as most of the countries have been in war, look at how you celebrate it now. We still celebrate it as the day we won it, although we might be opponents. Like French and the British and we both think we won. Well people, I say this is wrong, because even when we are in peace, we still feel we are better than the other and this feeling, as I have always told people, brings hate!!! Every time, you look at someone from up high, s/he will grow a little hate inside for you! And this is all war does. Look at where we are now. Take my own country for an example, we finished war more than 30 years ago, and we still hate the Iraqi’s for fighting with us. We went into war with Arabs, so far away, we can only read about it in books now, and we still dislike each other! So does this at all, sound like peace to you?!! These flying ashes of the finished war, burning more than the war burnt us itself. Let alone the damages it brings into our lives! Damaging, our health and wealth! We feel the glory deep inside when we talk about winning several wars in the past, but I think if we look deeper, we can clearly see, that we are destructed by all means! We have forgotten that its not us, but it is our governors who start the wars! And we have not got much to decide about!!! We lost our family and remain in pain for nothing1 for finally reaching the “Peace” that does not exist?!!
This is a very small insight that I have against war.... these are the burning ashes, burning like a red hot cigarette with the scar remaining forever!!!! 
"All war is based on deception."



Love & Peace
Rona Sinni

Sunday, 29 January 2012

The Legend OF "Leyli & Madman"

“Dearest heart, if I had not given my soul to you, it would have been better to give it up for good, to lose it forever. I am burning in love's fire; I am drowning in the tears of my sorrow. . . I am the moth that flies through the night to flutter around the candle flame. O invisible candle of my soul, do not torture me as I encircle you! You have bewitched me; you have robbed me of my sleep, my reason, my very being.”  
Nezami Ganjavi, From Leyli va Majnoon-adapted by Colin Turner and published by Blake in London, 1970




So today I had time to watch a film called Majnoone leyli (The madman’s leyli). But before I can talk about it I need to explain two things! First of all I need to tell you a story, and second I will tell you why I am writing this! And then I can talk about the film thoroughly.
There is a legend in my country called “Leyli Va Majnoon” or as it is called in west “Leyli and the Madman”!  this story is based on a real story of life of a man called Majnoon in the book and was written by the Persian writer Nezami Ganjavi....! “Leyli and Majnoon" is an immortal love story sometimes compared to "Romeo and Juliet" though it predates Shakespeare in oral tradition by more than 1,000 years. 
Leyli and Majnoon were from the same tribe living in deserts of Iraq! Majnoon was a poet who fell in love with Leyli; he made poems and songs about their love and leyli, although because of the rules of the tribe, he was not accepted when he asked her hands for marriage. Soon after, leyli was married to another man. Majnoon (: meaning madman), he fled the tribe camp and began wandering the surrounding desert. His family gave up on him after a while. People would see him time to time, singing poems for leyli or writing in the sands with a stick. Leyli moved to the modern Iraq with his husband and became sick soon after. She died and was buried. Majnoon was found dead in wilderness near grave of an unknown woman, and he have had engraved three verses of his last poem on a stone near by it.

“I pass by these walls, the walls of Leyli
And I kiss this wall and that wall
It’s not Love of the houses that has taken my heart
But of the One who dwells in those houses”

This is a story about an undying love, which is generally is known as a virgin love, because the lovers don’t ever get married and their love dies a virgin with them.
This story is one of the most popular legends of Iran, and was written in 7th century. I believe most of the nationalities in the world have stories as such, some may be true like this one, and some may have been made by imagination of the storyteller. But what is so distinguished about this story is the depth of the love and the beauty of the literature of it written by Ganjavi, so deeply interconnected with the literature of Majnoon himself.

“The future is veiled from our eyes. The threads of each man's fate extend well beyond the boundaries of the visible world. Where they lead, we cannot see. Who can say that today's key will not be tomorrow's lock, or today's lock not tomorrow's key?”
Nezami Ganjavi, From Leyli va Majnoon-adapted by Colin Turner and published by Blake in London, 1970

Well, as you all know Valentines is quite close, and I don’t think if i could pick a better time to write this! But the fact is, what motivated me, is the fact that Sepandarmazdegan is close also. Sepandarmazdegan is quite very similar to the St.Valentines day. It’s the day to worship love. It is a part of Esfand mah (the month of Esfand) which is the last month of the year in Persian calendar and the end of winter. In old times, winter was the time to rest after all the agriculture was finished, and as the ancient believed, this all was not possible for anyone if the woman of the house was not always there for the family, to support them and love them to get through the year. So this is the time to thank them! Esfand is the month of women of the house! Sepandamazd is the guardian of earth in Zarathustra and as women in life have the same role, being the supportive and the giving, this is their month! The word Sepandazd is from Avesta (the holly book of Zarathutrians) and it means the patients and humility of mothers. On Sepandarmazdegan, men buy presents for the love of their life.  This is how Zarathustra shows the importance of appreciation of love and women! And this also has a beautiful story behind it, very much similar to the story of Leyli va Majnoon. But i guess that needs to be left for later, because otherwise this story will get too long and boring.

“Every breeze that blows
Brings your scent to me;
Every bird that sings
Calls out your name to me;
Every dream that appears
Brings your face to me;
Every glance at your face
Has left its trace with me.
I am yours, I am yours,
Whether near or far;
Your grief is mine, all mines,
Wherever you are.”
Nezami Ganjavi, From Leyli va Majnoon-adapted by Colin Turner and published by Blake in London, 1970

 So this film was about the antique box which was made and given to the great grandmother of this girl called Parvaneh (: Meaning Butterfly), by her great granddad over 100 years ago on Sepandarmazdegan day. It was a box with the sign of Farvahar on it! (If you don’t know what it is, next time you see me with my necklace on, ask me what it is, because I always wear it, OR in future I will actually put up an analysis of it). This box in a very odd way kept going around and many people got a hold of it on Sepandarmazdegan day. It simply brought people who had true love for each other together and made those who did not realise that they are in a wrong situation.  Some sort of a magical impact. The connection between the stories was most certainly wonderful.
It is quite odd! I just can’t believe how this kind of love does not exist anymore! Or perhaps it does, but it is rather rare! I have the most loving grandparent. My granddad would still remember their anniversary till the last days of his life, and he would celebrate his love for my grandmother in every single opportunity.  It first of all makes me ashamed of myself! I have made some conclusions about it while living my life around people who have had it! First of all, if you find it you must never let go! And nothing could ever end a real love! May it mature or may it die a virgin, real love will never die... Now people do tell me if you think you have it! If you think you have that precious thing everyone talks about but not many have! I would very much love to talk about this more! But I like to leave you here with this thought that what is real love and where do you hold it! Do you u feel that odd feeling of pain inside when you are in love with someone, that deep pain inside that feels so good and enjoyable! the stress, the pain and the passion!

“Time passes, but true love remains. The life of this world is, for the most part, nothing but a succession of illusions and deceptions. But true love is real, and the flames which fuel it burn forever, without beginning or end. “
Nezami Ganjavi, From Leyli va Majnoon-adapted by Colin Turner and published by Blake in London, 1970

“In the garden, the leaves were falling like tears. The flowers had cast off their many-coloured summer gowns and donned the sombre robes of autumn. The silver of the jasmine had lost its lustre; the rose wept petals as it mourned the passing of summer; the narcissus bade its companion’s farewell and made ready to depart. . . As the garden slowly withered, so did Leyli: her spring was over, made winter by the freezing finger of Fate, by the icy touch of life's most trying tribulations.”
Nezami Ganjavi, From Leyli va Majnoon-adapted by Colin Turner and published by Blake in London, 1970



Peace and love
Rona Sinni

Monday, 23 January 2012

Lets Love ...

"First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out - because I was not a Jew. Then they came for the communist and I did not speak out - because I was not a communist. Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out - because I was not a trade unionists. Then they came for me - and there was no one left to speak out for me." -Pastor Niemoeler

(I know I always have an excuse, but it is late at night and I cant be bothered to edit this piece)

I watched the film “MILK” today. Truly inspiring I must say.... for those of you who have not seen the film: It is about Milk, a gay man who demanded gay rights and stood up for them against everything and lost so many things on the way, but never stopped fighting ....
I am not a homosexual, however because I stand up for their rights, people like to label me! But who cares... it does not matter what others think of me, as long as I am true to myself! Now again, I like to take this opportunity to raise my point and demand human rights for all... sometimes it does not matter how much freedom the governments gives people, it does not matter that law says, it is acceptable and legal! It matters that there still are people in the society that are against it...!!! and i still think its painful how there still are uneducated people who make life hard for HUMAN BEINGS, for being different!
I have sympathy for them, because I spent 16 years of my life waking up and fighting for my rights! For my freedom that was taken away! Yet i ended up in exile! What i want to say is that nothing will stop me or people like me! This is human right that should be given to everyone by every individual of this society!!! why being different should be so hard... it would not be hard if we accept each other for what we are!!! Why is it against what God wants ....why do we think life is all about reproduction! Are there not straight couples out there who can reproduce because of medical conditions?!! So what is the difference here! Because you cant reproduce, you shall never taste love and passion?!! Then what is the point of life?! When two people in full forms of knowledge fall in love! Does it matter if they are two boys or two girls or from different sexualities?
I like to leave the whole scientific argument out of this post! Maybe I cover it later! What I want to say is that there is no one in the whole world who is allowed to stop any two people from loving each other! I did a little research in fact and I did not find a single thing about gay marriage or couple in any of the holly books! What i think is that people are scared of differences! And it was nothing but the human mind who made it a sin!!! The made up religion by human minds ruined love and made a sin of it and that is when it all went down the hill!
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” I believe this is from Bible and this says nothing except loving one another!
In Quran the word Love is used 45 times in different terms, but the only times that it is used is in terms of sexual love, it is about loving your woman! Which I found a little sad, since I have heard that a holly book must talk to all, and not destroying equality by leaving women out of the equation by ignoring them! But that is another case!
I can keep on going with this...but all I want to say is that if there is a god above, lets say there is, he would not want Hate on earth! If he is as loving as they say, he wants love to be a major part of our lives! So who are we to decide that it is forbidden! I think we all should unite to let love go further! if there is no love in the world, hate will overtake everything and we will end up living a life, hating ourselves, others and life itself!
Lets fight for human rights! Lets fight for equality and lets fight for love
Loving ones self does not start before you start loving others and loving others by all means, loving them for what they are...and what they truly are!
"Lets love, so we can get our human rights back"

Peace and love
Rona Sinni 

Wednesday, 18 January 2012

"Le petite Prince"

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction."
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Could not find a better person to post a quote from, rather than the writer of "The Little Prince" to clarify my point...


(I know I used to write and all, but It has been a while, so I kind of need time to bring back my writing style)
Today I thought, Id make a voice recorded blog post, but then when I pressed the record button realised its way harder than I thought, the words just would not come out...so back to the traditional way of posts! A written post! Plus I must be studying now, but oh well... So I dont have time to read and restructure this whole thing, but I really want to post it today and you will see why...So I hope you don’t dislike it too much ...
I just watch a film called “Asghar Agha”, its a Persian film! It made me a little sad... or more worried if you allow! It was about this man who after retirement, started working in houses as a cleaner but never let his daughter know, but he found out that one of the people he worked for was having an affair with his daughter, however the man was not a very nice person! The storyline however was set in different houses and together all these little stories showed the SOLITUDE that we all are a part of...
I may be repeating what we all think, but I felt I had to get it out of my system...So what better than a post!!!
I know in general those whom know me think of me as an independent person! That is very true, but I think , like many other people I am terrified of loneliness ... The fact that nothing in this word is permanent and one day you can wake up with everything and everyone is gone ... and today’s life style... well, Tell me if that does not scare you a little... and tell me how and why?!
Each story showed the separation that is becoming more and clearer in each day of our life... I don’t know if you agree with me or not ? but do you not think that technology is just letting us down in some aspects of our lives... looking back at about 20 years ago, and the relationships between people and then looking at our lives today makes me a little depressed... Maybe it’s the fact that we know everyone is a phone call away, or we can actually see each other through Skype whenever we want to, has made us perhaps a little lazy ...  when I think about the fact that i will not have my family around forever, just makes me shiver... I know we are meant to make the best of today and enjoy every moment of our lives...but I feel like there is not enough time in the world to show our love to each other ... I can stalk people that I like over Facebook and talk to them on the phone, but what can actually fill the place of a hug or a kiss on the cheek ... I know when someone over the phone tells me, s/he loves me, makes me smile..but I fill there is something missing ... that fuzzy feeling of being loved ...
I don’t want to make a long post, so you actually will have some time to read it ...
The point I want to make is, DONT TAKE THE MOMENT OF LIFE FOR GRANTED ....Make time to make friends and make time to tell your loved ones you love them...for all I know, there might not be another chance...  I think we should feel the gaps that e have made and actually make some effort! Kiss the one you love...tell them you love them...smile and make them smile ...  LIFE IS SHORTER THAN WHAT YOU THINK .... 

Saturday, 14 January 2012

Closet Of a Socialist Girl: INTRO

Closet Of a Socialist Girl: INTRO: ‎"Does the bubble of reputation distract you? Keep before your eyes the swift onset of oblivion, and the abysses of eternity before us and b...